Living together unmarried: what should we arrange?
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Detailed explanation, checklist and sources
Record who owns and pays for what, and what happens on separation or death. A cohabitation agreement is not a marriage and does not replace a will, parental responsibility or pension registration.
On this page
- What does cohabitation not arrange automatically?
- How do we arrange money, housing and debts?
- What happens on death?
- How do I check pensions and tax?
- What should we arrange for children?
- How do we make and update the agreement?
- Is everything in our joint account automatically jointly owned?
- Documents to prepare
- Sources
1. What does cohabitation not arrange automatically?
Living together without marriage or registered partnership does not automatically create matrimonial community property, statutory inheritance for a partner or spousal maintenance on separation. General contract, property and parental rules still apply. An agreement can create obligations between you; it does not remove existing contracts, creditors' rights or children's rights. Discuss income lost through caring responsibilities.
Rijksoverheid · Samenlevingscontract ↗
Rijksoverheid · Verschillen huwelijk en samenlevingscontract ↗
2. How do we arrange money, housing and debts?
List separate and shared assets, debts and contributions at the outset. Agree household expenses, savings, major purchases and reimbursement of money invested in the home. A joint account does not automatically make the balance half-owned by each: its origin, purpose and your agreements matter. Your agreement cannot release a borrower from a joint loan; ask the lender. For renting, check who is the tenant.
3. What happens on death?
An unmarried partner does not become a statutory heir merely by cohabiting. Discuss individual wills, children and possibly a survivorship clause for jointly owned assets. That clause is not a general appointment as heir. Establish who can remain in the home and how a buyout would be funded. The survivor's own share does not automatically form part of the deceased's estate.
4. How do I check pensions and tax?
Ask each pension provider which partner definition, evidence and registration apply; a notarial deed alone does not guarantee cover. Tax partnership can arise without a contract when you share a BRP address, for example through a joint child or jointly owned home. An adult couple's notarial agreement can also trigger it. Check the start date and benefits separately; financial advantage is not guaranteed.
5. What should we arrange for children?
A cohabitation agreement does not establish recognition of parenthood or parental responsibility. Recognition on or after 1 January 2023 usually gives joint responsibility with the mother, but exceptions include substitute court consent or a joint declaration that the mother alone will have responsibility. Earlier recognition is not automatically changed by this rule. Check deeds and responsibility; child maintenance remains a separate obligation.
6. How do we make and update the agreement?
You can write agreements yourselves, but certain arrangements may require a notarial agreement. Bring identification details, existing deeds, housing documents and your wishes. Obtain an itemised quote, discuss the consequences and both sign only after understanding them. The notary retains the deed; request a copy if needed. Cover changes, termination, settlement, moving-out arrangements and disputes; review after a child, house purchase or marriage.
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Is everything in our joint account automatically jointly owned?
No. Authority to use the account and ownership of the money between you are separate issues. Keep evidence of contributions and record which money becomes shared and how you will settle later.
Documents to prepare
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Ownership, contributions and debts
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- Ownership, contributions and debts
- Household budget and joint account
- Tenancy, title deed and mortgage
- Wills and survivorship clause
- Pension registration, BRP and tax effects
- Recognition, responsibility and separation arrangements
Contact with a lawyer
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Need personal assistance? Request a lawyer through our chat. We explain the next step; submitting a request does not engage a lawyer. The links below support the legal information.
KNB · Samenwonen ↗Rijksoverheid · Samenlevingscontract ↗KNB · Erfenis partner ↗Belastingdienst · Fiscaal partnerschap ↗Rijksoverheid · Gezag door erkenning ↗Rechtspraak · Gezag en uitzonderingen ↗Rijksoverheid · Verschillen huwelijk en samenlevingscontract ↗Sources may be in Dutch. General information about Dutch law, not individual legal advice.